Live to the Max

How do you describe a life plagued with grief?

While there are thousands of ways I could attempt to describe the experience, perhaps it’s best summarized to say, to grieve is to have certainty.

Before death snatched it away, I lived in a world of possibility.

The idea that I could someday have it all.

Dreams of the future with all of my favorite people thriving and enjoying life.

Visions of future grandchildren and holidays spent together.

But death came and brought with him certainty.

Certainty that the future will always fall short of my dreams.

Certainty that I’ll never have that “my heart is full” feeling ever again.

Certainty that every joyous event will have an empty chair.

I pray joy will still find me from time to time.

But I know with certainty there will be a shadow of sadness on every horizon.

Death took away the hope, wonder, and possibility of what the future may hold.

Now, I look to the future as something to be endured with the constant reminder of your absence.

I used to imagine I could have it all, now I know with certainty I will not.