Alone

I’ve known solitude.

Times when my mind could wander, and my spirit could be refreshed.

I can’t recall the last time I experienced solitude.

Instead, I’ve had only loneliness.

An aloneness that rots my mind and causes my spirit to wither.

The difference between the two is in the choosing.

I have known solitude when I wished to be rid of company for a period of reflection.

I now know loneliness, wishing for nothing more than company. But it’s not possible.

I’m alone, not because there aren’t people near, but because no one is able to join me where I am.

Even those who love me deeply couldn’t find my location if they tried.

I remain undiscoverable, hidden beneath deep pain and sorrow.

I wish for the comfort of another, but I am lost in a place too far away for them to travel.

The area is surrounded by terrain too rocky and much too steep to climb.

The path one would have to trek is far too treacherous and is certainly impossible.

But no one is searching.

No one knows I’m missing.

There I am, right in front of them.

They don’t know I’m gone.

It’s a mirage, they see what they want to see.

I am present and yet missing, all at once.

I remain desperately alone in this place of sadness.

I am alone. Totally alone.

Undiscoverable, unreachable, unnoticed…alone.