Live to the Max

I exist now in a pre-dug grave.

A deep pit, eagerly awaiting its intended occupant.

The grave calls out to me to come and rest.

“Come,” says the grave, “Rest your weary body. Allow the full weight of all you carry to sink into my muddy floor and sample the peace I offer.”

Day by day, I resist temptation and pull myself out of the grave to temporarily masquerade as one who is alive.

This skin mask portrays a bright smile, with rosy cheeks, and twinkling eyes.

The character I play is the former me. I know her mannerisms, her quirks, and her sense of humor. I play her part with great accuracy.

Then, as darkness falls, I crawl back to the grave to peel back the mask and reveal the decaying person beneath.

For I am dead, but I have yet to expire.

I can only be found in this in-between space now.

Some place where those who are dead, yet still alive, miraculously keep going.

This odd place where empty, broken hearts still thump in rhythm.

A painful existence where you feel everything so intensely, yet remain totally and irreversibly numb.

This is where I exist now.

The real me, unmasked, and alone…in a pre-dug grave…living in the in-between.